Today marks the release of one of the most anticipated games in history:  Grand Theft Auto 4.  If you’re even remotely into video games, you’ve at least played one of the games in the GTA series.  It’s innovative (and enjoyable) "open world" gameplay has pretty much changed video games forever, and that’s a good thing. I’d say that Grand Theft Auto is to "gamers" today as to what Super Mario Brothers was to gamers of yesteryear, except with more hookers, shootings, car jackings, drug use, and general fun loving mischief.  However, most of that stuff is done in a very tongue-in-cheek manner, which some of folks seem to miss.

Of course with Grand Theft Auto’s popularity, the R-rated content within the game is going to be subjected to a fair amount of scrutiny whether justified or not.  Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas made headlines for its infamous "Hot Coffee" scenario, and the series has been blamed for several instances of violence.  In this day and age this is pretty much to be expected between so-called activists and the sensationalist media.  However, recently I came across an article of a reporter bashing GTA4 before it even hits the streets.   Let’s take a look at this article and see what all the hoopla is about, and perhaps even examine some future controversy that I see this game producing down the line in a very sarcastic manner.

So here we have a writer from a blog of the Charlotte Reporter who it taking a look at Grand Theft Auto 4 before it’s release.  Here are some of the things he has to say:

  "Tuesday, ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’ debuts in stores, and it needs and Adults Only rating"

Oh is that right?  Well I’m assuming you’ve had some good one on one time with the game I’m guessing.  Why do you think it justifies that rating?

  "The new game, among other things, allows players to choose one of three prostitutes for various forms of sex in a car. It graphically displays simulated group sex in a strip club. The images are about in line with something you might see after midnight on certain movie channels."

That actually sounds pretty awesome!  I guess that’s what you can expect for a game that’s designed for Mature audiences over the age of 17.  What can you tell me about the other aspects of the game?  How’s the driving, shooting, free roaming etc.?

  "I haven’t played "GTA IV" yet, but I was simply shocked by the clips I saw."

So wait, you haven’t even played the game yet?  What the fuck?  How can anything be justified as Rated X if you haven’t actually sat down and used the product?  You fail at logic sir.

After reading the rest of the article, you can see that the reporter focuses only on the sexual aspects of the game.  The violence in the game is ignored mind you, however any mention of sex and this guy is already pointing the "shame on you" finger.  So remember folks, beatings, shootings, explosions, and other forms of violence are OK, but don’t you even THINK about showing a titty.

But enough of that nonsense.  GTA4 is bound to create a firestorm of controversy from everyone who thinks they know what’s best for "the children".  So here are quite possibly some future comments from folks who might be upset by this game:

  "It’s games like this that are threatening the very fabric of morality in today’s society.  This filth is perpetrated by liberals in an attempt to undermine American family values.  Don’t look at my Adam’s Apple. "

  "Why must you Morans play such shit? Go USA!"

  "Yo son, I can’t take personal responsibility for my actions, so I’m going to blame it on this game.  Hit me up on my Myspace, HOLLA!"

  "I’m saving all my cash up for a Wii Fit."

  "So you’re going to buy Iron Man today instead of Grand Theft Auto?  Why don’t you have a seat over there?"

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