So I was eating at Subway and immediately noticed the life size cardboard cut out off Subway spokesperson Jared Fogle.  Now I find card board cut outs to be quite creepy in general, especially when they feature an overly happy man peddling sandwiches to you while grinning ear to ear.  But I guess to the normal American, Jared is part of popular culture somehow, and this particular cardboard cutout doesn’t look so threatening:

However, as I was eating my turkey sub, I started to notice something about this cut out (aside from the fact that he looks like he’s extremely happy to do laundry for sasquatches).  This was something that I didn’t expect, and I certainly didn’t want to encounter when I had a mouth full of food.  No sir, I didn’t expect to nearly choke on a Sun Chip while trying to enjoy my lunch break in peace.  Upon close inspection of this smiling cheeseball, I noticed this:

Oh man, why the fuck do they have this guy’s chest hair showing?  Would it have killed them to say, "OK Jared, we need you to button that top button on your shirt so America doesn’t see your 70’s pornstar chest"?  Would it have broke the bank to hire someone to do a quick Photoshop job on these pubes creeping out of his shirt? 

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Subway.  In fact, I eat there nearly every day because there’s basically nothing else around the office to go to eat.  But I think it sends the wrong message to have a life size hairy man holding a pair of pants when the only thing you want to worry about is whether or not you want your lunch toasted.  Perhaps it was in his contract to show his hairy chest so that he can pick up women nationwide.  I mean, two girls did steal this very cardboard cut out you know.  I guess they couldn’t resist the hairy chest of a man that’s an inspiration to sandwich enthusiasts world wide.

Edit 3/31:  So I just had lunch at the same Subway I always eat lunch at and I noticed that the card board cut out is no longer there.  It looks to be replaced with a Jared "Got Milk?" poster and there is no chest hair to be found.  Hmm…

Technorati Tags: Subway, Jared, Jared Fogle, sandwich, subs, hairy chest, funny, sarcasm