Well, according to Bloody Disgusting, Rob Zombie is in talks to be directing a new Conan the Barbarian film!  Here’s the details, and read on if you want the rest of the story:

"Are you guys ready for this?! This afternoon we have confirmed 100% that Rob Zombie has been taking meetings with Lionsgate and Nu Image to get behind the director’s chair for their upcoming Conan film! In my humble opinion I think this is fantastic news as I’d love to see Zombie depart from direct horror for a bit and show us what he can do outside of the genre. The first film, which starred Arnold Schwarzenegger, really could use a companion piece and I think adding a darker element to the mix could be pretty awesome. We’ll let you know if anything becomes signed, but your feedback could help make this happen."

Let me give you some insight on this situation.  I one of the very few people that loved Zombie’s first film, House of 1000 Corpses.   I thought it did a good job of making a campy "old school" horror flick, despite the fact that must people labeled it as "one big long music video".  Aside from the strange transition scenes, I don’t really know where they got that idea.  His second fim, The Devil’s Rejects, I loved even more.  It perfectly captured the vibe of 70’s drive in sleeze movies, and it actually had characters that you started to care about (a rarity in horror films of all sorts). 

So then I saw his 2007 remake of Halloween.  Keeping all of the anger and backlash of "he shouldn’t touch such a classic" aside, I went into the movie with a clean slate and mediocre expectations.  When I left the theater, I there’s only two words I could use to describe the film:  below average.  It simply wasn’t a very good film at all.  However, upon watching the movie a second time, I started share the same feelings with horror junkies that "he shouldn’t have touched such a classic". 

It wasn’t such a "re-imaging" of the John Carpenter classic, but rather a "dumbing down" the original by having over the top dialogue by an enormous amount of swearing. I soon began to call Halloween 2007 "Hallo-Fucking-Ween" due to the seemingly never ending onslaught of cuss words.  I mean come on, does one really need to open up a remake of one of the best horror movies of all time with a dysfunctional family spatting out more swear words than a room filled with a dozen Tourettes Guy’s? 

So where does this leave a Zombie-directed Conan the Barbarian?  Will people bash it for being another remake, or will the bash it because of hatred of Rob Zombie?  Well, I sure as hell don’t know, but I do happen to have an exclusive script excerpt* from the new Conan the Barbarian!

Well, at least the guy is consistent.

* not a real script excerpt obviously.

Technorati Tags: Conan, Conan the Barbarian, Rob Zombie, Halloween, Devil’s Rejects, House of 1000 Corpses, script, remake