Horror movies have always been known to take real-life situations where people are vulnerable and turn them into something scary.  Playing on people’s natural fears is proven way to make people scared, and its become the basis to nearly every horror film since the shower scene in Psycho.  Whether its people shitting bricks when thinking about swimming in the ocean due to Jaws, or kids afraid to fall asleep because of Freddy Krueger in A Nightmare on Elm Street, you can’t  deny cinema’s power to take ordinary situations and turn them into something terrifying.  However, there are times when horror movies are stretching things just a bit to make movie-goers uncomfortable.  Let’s explore some movies that take seemingly normal situations in life, and turning them into something INSANELY TERRIFYING!  (and most of the time failing miserably):

Where should I begin?  I could start with some obvious choice like The Dentist, but I’ll be the first to admit that going to the dentist is much more scarier than any horror flick.  I’m here to point out the most dubious exploiters of common events in everyday life, and what better way to start than here:

• Going to the bathroom:
  • There have been a few flicks that have had death scenes while people are using the bathroom (Sleepaway Camp’s bee hive scene comes to mind).  However, this film takes a crap on any sort of "toilet horror" film before it (I think I just created a new sub-genre).   Upon reading the title of the movie itself, the first thing that came to mind is, "wow, who comes up with this shit".  Let me present to you Monsturd:

Tag Line:  Don’t get caught with your pants down!

• Having a fun night out at a concert:
  • If you’re anything like me, you go to concerts to listen to your favorite group, chill out, and escape the rat race of every day life.  You might run into the occasional drunk guy, or people looking to cause some trouble, but  the real question is what exactly do you do when your favorite live band happens to be DEMONS WAITING TO POSSESS ITS AUDIENCE IN THE MIDDLE OF SHITTY POWER BALLADS AND BAD 80′S HAIR!?!?  Well my friend, your favorite band happens to be Black Roses, a late 80’s horror movie about a group of hell-raising demons posing as a cheesy hair band that looks to gain control of its teen audience:

Tag Line:  Live for one night only, thats all they’ll ever need.

•  Getting a delicious treat from the neighborhood ice cream man:
  • I can remember being a kid and being filled with joy when I heard jingle of the ice cream man’s truck approaching.  There wasn’t much that could compare to getting a firecracker popsicle from the ice cream man on a hot summer day.  Fortunately for me, my local Ice Cream Man wasn’t an escaped mental patient played by Clint Howard looking to make me and my childhood friends into TWO SCOOPS OF STRAWBERRY DEATH!!

Tag Line:  I scream, you scream, we all scream for the……

• Going to the gym to pump some iron:
  • Here’s another great way I like to blow off steam after a rough day at the office.  There’s nothing like hitting the weights after you’ve been staring at a computer screen for 8+ hours straight.  Be careful of what gym you choose to work out at though, because those membership fee’s can be a killer, among other things.  Enter the slasher flick Killer Workout, where gym members suddenly wind up dead years after a model is badly burned in a tanning bed accident.  Can it get any more hokey?  Well, just read the tag line or refer to the films other title, "Aerobicide"….

Tag Line:  WARNING: This Workout’s a Real Killer

•  Having a relaxing game of golf:
  • I’ve heard that there’s not too many things that are better than teeing off on the green with some pals on a good old golfing trip.  Washing away your worries under a clear blue sky, playing your favorite sport is always a good stress reliever.  Well all this can abruptly come to an end when the golf course’s grounds keeper decides to KILL YOU AND YOUR BUDDIES WITH GOLFING TOOLS!  Yes, they did actually make a movie like that entitled The Greenskeeper just a few years ago.  Just when you thought you were safe to hit some golf balls and reek of upper class snobbery, here comes a killer grounds keeper.  I swear, you just can’t be safe anywhere these days.

Tag Line: It’s par for the corpse.

This is pretty much scratching the surface when it comes to horror movies that try to inject some fear in things you wouldn’t even perceive as threatening.  I could see the danger of going into the woods alone like a Friday the 13th type of film, or picking up a shady looking pedestrian like in The Hitcher. But who would have thought something so simple as a game of golf could be so hazardous to your health?  

Feel free to comment and add some more flicks like this, I know there’s more than enough of them to go around!

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